


Because the night belongs to lovers

by mirkwood131



Series: EXO Central [50]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, Angst, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Humor, Insecurity, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Past Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Kim Jongin | Kai, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-10-08 06:54:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17381783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mirkwood131/pseuds/mirkwood131
Summary: Baekhyun has a crush on a guy 7 years older than him, living most of the time 600km away from him. During summers, it's only 20. But what happens when his crush turns into full blown love and the other decides to move back to Korea?





	1. Because the night

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from the song [ Because the night ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_BcivBprM0) by Patti Smith.
> 
> haven't been very inspired lately, so i've been writing less than i usually do. but i think i'm beginning to get back on track, hehe.   
> slightly inspired by my stupid feelings for a guy 7 years older than me, who is in fact a dentist 600km away from me most of the time. kudos for great crushes that just hit you and don't seem to leave anytime soon.
> 
> hope you'll enjoy:)

“Bagels.” Baekhyun said, placing a brown bag on the white desk.

“Thanks. But you shouldn’t have…”

“It’s fine. I was hungry anyways.” he said as he took one out and bit a big chunk out of it while the other sat down on the chair behind the desk.

“How did you get here?” the man asked, taking the remaining bagel.

“Bus.” Baekhyun shrugged.

“You do a lot of weird stuff sometimes.”

“Why is this weird?” he whispered and stopped chewing, as he started playing with the edges of the paper bag, tearing them into thin strips. “Aren’t we…friends?”

“Sure. Why not.” the other said, putting the bagel down. “But you can’t come here every day, you know? I kind of have patients and…”

“I know…you could come see me too, you know?” Baekhyun smiled, taking another bite. “Kyungsoo…” he whispered, rolling his eyes.

The man smiled, glancing down at his food and then back at Baekhyun who grinned.

“This summer sucks.”

“Why?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Well, you have everything figured out…I have one year left and then boom, reality punches me in the face.”

“I don’t have everything figured out.” he laughed. “This is not my place…I hate this town.”

“You don’t hate your job.” Baekhyun sighed, as he stuffed his mouth with the last piece of food.

Kyungsoo laughed again, watching him for a while trying to chew everything with his mouth close while his eyes were watering and cheeks turning red.

“You won’t hate yours either.”

“I don’t want to be a music teacher, since that’s the only bright option I have ahead of me.” Baekhyun said, swallowing.

He crumpled the paper bag and threw it in the recycle bin on the opposite wall. It missed and fell on the floor.

“Clean that. This place isn’t your dumpster.” Kyungsoo said.

“Yes, Mr. Doctor Mc. Fancy.”

“Shut up.” he laughed.

“It’s Friday.” Baekhyun said. “Can you come tomorrow? We could go watch a movie or something.”

“Sure…I’ll see how my schedule is.” Kyungsoo said, looking at Baekhyun’s back; the slightly darker patch on his white t-shirt in the shape of a sad looking face, the way his shoulder blades were poking through the too thin material.

“Okay…text me, alright?”

“Alright.”

Baekhyun remembered precisely when and how he had met Do Kyungsoo, more than half a year ago, on a rather cold December day, in the exact same clinic. Except back then he was the patient and Do Kyungsoo only the doctor, fixing one of his teeth.

He thought a lot about it, and, after a while, he had come to the conclusion that he had liked Kyungsoo from the almost first moment he had laid eyes on him. It also appeared extremely cheesy to him, the entire realization, but most of the time, he had been trying to ignore everything. Because, thinking or not thinking about his beating heart or sweaty palms or dry mouth, there was no change in Do Kyungsoo. Or Do Kyungsoo’s feelings.

The friendship was spare time based only. Whenever Baekhyun was home or Kyungsoo could free his schedule. It was always about time, distance and more time added to it.

But there was Kyungsoo, at the front desk in his small clinic, not owned by him, smiling whenever he would enter. So he wouldn’t replace that, or his smile, for the matter.

So Baekhyun waited for Saturday night, walking around his parents’ apartment, eating more often than usual as time didn’t seem to pass. Until his phone rang and he almost fell down from the couch on the floor.

But it wasn’t Kyungsoo. He rarely called, messaged or made contact. That was fine too. In the beginning, he was too polite, too cold. Then he warmed up, like a frozen soup placed in the microwave.

**__ **

Baekhyun threw the phone on the couch and stood up, pacing around the room. He glanced back at it and sighed.

“Girl problems?” his mother asked.

“No. I’m fine. There are no girl problems.” he whispered.

“Maybe you should try finding a summer job…use your time better.”

“Job…as what? I do have so many options as a fucking lame almost music teacher.” Baekhyun said.

“Watch your mouth. Is it my fault?”

His phone buzzed, so he picked it up.

**__ **

“I’m going out.” Baekhyun said.

“Why? How? With who?”

“A friend. Bye.”

He ran down the stairs, almost holding his breath as he could see the headlights of the car and Kyungsoo’s shape right in front of it; arms crossed over his chest, a light frown on his face.

“You lied.”

“Actually…I didn’t. I…didn’t want to see you upset.” the other said.

“I wasn’t upset.”

“Yes, you were. Could feel it through the phone.” Kyungsoo laughed. “Where do you want to go?”

“Anywhere.” Baekhyun grinned, opening the door of the car to sit down with a slight sigh.

“Anywhere?”

“Wherever you want.” he said, looking at Kyungsoo.

He laughed, placing both hands on the steering wheel, without making any other move. “Mc Donald’s.”

“Isn’t that against your dentist rules or something?”

“I can eat crap from time to time.”

“You said it, not me.” Baekhyun said. “I should find a summer job.”

“Any ideas?”

‘Nope…” he whispered, glancing outside as he opened the window. “Not one single idea…I might as well work as a street cleaner.”

“Baekhyun…”

“I’m useless!” he shouted, looking at Kyungsoo. “Sorry…”

“It’s okay…I mean, I might seem like I have everything together, but I don’t. And I’m scared too, most of the time.”

“It’s different. You have a respectable job. You are smart and…” Baekhyun said, his words turning back to a whisper.

“What?”

“Nothing…”

“Come on.” Kyungsoo grinned, looking at him. “I am…how?”

“Smart and organized and tidy and…nice to look at.”

“That’s it, huh?”

“What do you want me to say more?” Baekhyun asked.

“Nothing.” Kyungsoo shrugged. “You are blushing.”

“And of course you would notice that even though it’s dark in the car. I am not.”

“If you say so.  Today at work a girl literally told me how handsome I am…it was cute.” Kyungsoo said, looking from time to time at Baekhyun, who was biting the inside of his cheek.

“And…will you sway her away and show how much of a Romeo you really are?”

“Shut up.” he laughed, turning the radio on. “I like this song…”

“Really?”

“I love Patti Smith, okay? This is my favorite song of hers.” Kyungsoo said. “ _Because the night belongs to lovers\ Because the night belongs to lust…”_

“Nice lyrics.” Baekhyun laughed.

“Shut up. It’s a great song. And you should be able to recognize good music.”

“Did I say anything?”

“Yes, you were mocking it.”

“It was only a remark.” Baekhyun said.

“Mc Donald’s, your Majesty.” Kyungsoo said, stopping the engine; the parking lot was crowded.

“I went on better dates.” Baekhyun said as he got off the car, breathing out slowly as he waited for the other’s answer.

He glanced at the building, and then at Kyungsoo, who was staring at him.

“Really? You go on dates…? Didn’t you tell me you’ve never gone on a date before?” he asked and Baekhyun turned around on the heels of his shoes.

“I go!” he shouted, pushing the doors open and almost bumping into a man holding a tray covered in plastic cups and hamburgers. “Sorry.”

“No, you don’t.” Kyungsoo laughed, touching his back.

“Good that you go with smitten patients that would let you fuck them on that chair.”

“Why are you like this?” Kyungsoo asked.

“How?”

“Mean?”

“I’m not mean…”

“Yes, you are.” he said and wrapped his fingers around his wrist.

Kyungsoo pulled, once, but Baekhyun tried to stand still, at the end of the queue.

“What?”

“An apology?”

“Why?” Baekhyun asked, making a couple of steps forward.

“Because…you are a jerk.” Kyungsoo sighed. “I don’t have sex with my patients and you know I’m not some sex crazed dude that only does the job because of that.”

“SORRY.” Baekhyun said.

“Don’t shout.” Kyungsoo whispered, looking around, at all the eyes that had turned towards them.

“Sorry.” he whispered.

“Do you mean it?”

“Yeah…”

“Okay…”

“Good…so what do you want to order?” Baekhyun asked.

“Medium menu. You.”

“Same. Cola?”

“Yup.”

“Give me the money.” Baekhyun said, extending his arm to slap Kyungsoo a couple of times over the hand.

“Here.” he laughed.

“Can’t you do math out of the blue? This is too much.”

“For yours too.”

“I won’t take it.” Baekhyun said.

“My way for saying sorry.”

“Well, you’ll have to find a different way to say sorry then.” Baekhyun shrugged, placing a part of his money back in the pocket of his pants.

“Dear God. You are complicated sometimes.” Kyungsoo whispered as Baekhyun stopped at the counter. “Buy some sauces too.”

Baekhyun would have found everything more ideal if Kyungsoo had lived in the same town as him, not at a distance of 20km -not much in essence, but considerable enough to prevent him from seeing the other as much as he would have liked. That distance was also managing to accentuate the uncomfortable feelings in his chest whenever he would be thinking about all the human interactions Kyungsoo was taking part in. And if he had managed to befriend him, nothing was stopping Kyungsoo to befriend someone else.

Truthfully, when they had first met, Kyungsoo had been in a relationship with a dude Baekhyun had never seen in flesh, and for causes unknown, one month ago, it had suddenly ended. Baekhyun had never felt the slightest drop of regret or guilt about it, because there was nothing he could feel bad about.

Kyungsoo had been keeping him at a friendship’s arm length most of the time.

“This is nice.” Baekhyun whispered, chewing on a fry.

“It is.”

“I might have found a possible date for you.” Kyungsoo said after a while.

“You did?”

The other nodded, not looking at Baekhyun, but at his food.

“Well, it’s pointless, since more than half of the time I’m 600km away from here.”

“Nonetheless.”

“Not worth it. Long distance relationships suck.” Baekhyun said.

“If you say so…”

Baekhyun sighed, looking up at Kyungsoo’s face, focused on dipping a long fry in the garlic sauce.

“Our friendship is long distance.” Kyungsoo said.

“That’s different.”

Baekhyun dropped a fry on the floor, thinking that the discussion was straying away from whatever he had been thinking the entire morning. Actually, he felt more at fault than ever before.

“What I meant was that it…”

“I know what you meant. Let’s drop it, alright?”

“Sure…” Baekhyun whispered.

The place was still crowded, more than before, and for some reason, through that buzz of people and voices, centimeters away from him, he felt more alone than before. Instead of contracting, the room was enlarging, bigger and bigger until in the center of it there was him standing at the table, with a fry between his fingers.

“Earth to Baekhyun.”

“Sorry.” he laughed.

“What do you think…about working at the cash register in the clinic?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Isn’t that what you guys do? Why do you need…?”

“I’m just trying to help.”

“You know Junmyeon wouldn’t agree.”

“True…” Kyungsoo sighed.

“Plus, it’s 20km and the bus in town…not worth it.”

“I suppose.”

“I’ll find something. Maybe if I were studying something less useless.”

“Would you just stop with that?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Maybe…” Baekhyun whispered, placing his chin on the palms of his hands.

“Stop fretting.” Kyungsoo said. “You’re making me worried too.”

“About…what?”

“Stuff…in general.” he shrugged. “Now let’s get going.”

They stood up, Baekhyun following him outside in the still warm air.

“You could go home.”

“Don’t you want to go for a stroll?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Well…you seem tired.”

“I’m good.” he said.

They walked on the sidewalk that was going down the hill and then back up, into a park with few benches, but many trees on each side of the winding paths. It was all empty and Baekhyun stared at his shadow that was forming on his side due to the orange light coming from the street lamps.

“Kind of spooky.” he whispered.

“Don’t be a chicken.” Kyungsoo laughed.

“It was only a remark.”

“Would you like me to hold your hand because you are too scared?” Kyungsoo said, looking at him.

Baekhyun glanced down, not saying anything as they kept walking with the sound of their shoes on the gravel in their ears.

“Should I take it as a yes?”

“No? I mean…”

“So…do you want me to hold your hand?”

“Maybe.” Baekhyun shrugged.

Kyungsoo didn’t say anything else afterwards but seconds later, Baekhyun felt his warm fingers sliding between his cold ones; the hold was not tight, but nonetheless, hi hand was tingling without cease.

“Better?”

“Yeah…”

“Okay…”

“I like this.” Baekhyun said.

“Holding my hand?”

“I guess. You don’t?”

Kyungsoo looked at Baekhyun and let go of his hand.

“Okay, I get it.” he laughed, walking a little faster, until he was a couple of steps ahead of him.

“You’re a kid.” Kyungsoo said, catching up with him.

“Right.”

“There’s no other reason, it would just feel wrong for me to…”

“Drop it.”

“It’s 7 years.” Kyungsoo sighed, grabbing his wrist. “Plus…we don’t really live in the same town…or at decent distances from one another most of the time.”

“In one year I finish my studies. You could wait for me.”

“I might go back to Korea.”

“You…what?”

“Sorry…I’ve been thinking for a while. My parents took a loan and they intend to open my own little clinic.” Kyungsoo said, looking down at Baekhyun’s closed fist.

“Well…then it’s really useless, isn’t it?” Baekhyun asked. “I should go home.”

“Baek…it’s not certain I’m going back.”

“Going back or not…it’s all useless.”

“Baek…”

“Don’t follow me!” he shouted, running out of the park into the street.

 


	2. belongs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took me less time to write than i would have thought:)  
> i'm actually quite enjoying this fic and i'm pretty excited for the last chapter  
> also, don't pay attention to the time stamps on the messages; i've messed them up and i was too lazy to redo them so yeeeah...
> 
> hope you'll enjoy:)

Baekhyun knocked at the door and waited. It was all quiet, no sign that the door might open but, somehow, it did with a long screech that reverberated in the empty hallway.

“Let’s just do it once and then I’ll forget about you.” he said, looking at the one in front of him, who was leaning on the wooden frame.

“You’ll regret it.”

“I won’t. I leave in 1 month. And I will never see you again so…just do this for me?” Baekhyun asked.

“Come on in.”

He had never been to his apartment before; Kyungsoo hadn’t invited him over, not even once, and Baekhyun had never asked him to, so the clinic had become for him their meeting spot.

“You are so stubborn sometimes.” Kyungsoo sighed, closing the door.

“You are more experienced than me…why did you break up with your boyfriend?” Baekhyun asked, looking around.

The place wasn’t anything spectacular; the fridge had half rubbed off stickers all over it and the floor was covered with brown linoleum.

“Some misunderstandings. That’s all.”

“Is that your bedroom?” Baekhyun asked, walking towards the door on the right side of the hallway.

“Bathroom. Bedroom is on the opposite.”

“Oh…” he whispered, turning around.

Kyungsoo was looking at him, with his arms crossed over his chest.

“I’m not doing whatever you want to. You’re simply angry and frustrated. And in need of someone your own age.”

“Yes, grandpa.” Baekhyun said. “Don’t you have casual sex?”

Kyungsoo shook his head, leaning on the wall.

“No.”

“Well, me neither. And this isn’t technically casual so-“

“That’s the problem. I leave and then I’ll keep thinking about you and what we did and…it’s not worth screwing things up like this.”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes, stopping right in front of him.

“Not like they aren’t already screwed. Please…Just once.”

“Baek…”

“Just once. I won’t call or message or do anything afterwards. I won’t even sleep over. In maximum one hour we’ll be done.” Baekhyun said, placing the side of his head on the cold wall.

Kyungsoo was looking at him, chewing his bottom lip as they kept the silence for a couple more minutes. His chest was raising and falling slowly and Baekhyun thought that maybe he had fallen asleep.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah…do you want it too?”

“Maybe.” Kyungsoo shrugged.

“So…what are we waiting for?” he asked.

“Go ahead. I…need to buy some condoms.” Kyungsoo said, stepping aside. “You didn’t bring any, did you?”

“I thought you’d have…”

“I’ll be quick.”

“Okay…” he whispered.

Baekhyun opened the door to the bedroom and stepped inside, right when the front door closed with a thud. He sat down on the bed, glancing around at the almost empty space, except for a small table and a closet in one corner. There was no carpet on the floor or blinds at the windows. Outside it was already sdark.

Kyungsoo returned after 10 minutes, counted on his wrist watch.

“It was really crowded at the store.” he said, panting. “And I ran a little.”

“You’re red.” Baekhyun grinned.

“I should have sent you.”

“Why didn’t you, then?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Are you sure you won’t regret any of this in an hour?” Kyungsoo asked, sitting down on the bed next to him.

“Will you?”

“I was asking you that…”

“Don’t know.” he shrugged.

Kyungsoo sighed, lying down on the bed. Baekhyun glanced back at him and touched the back of his hand. He leaned over, until he was hovering over his body.

“I’m supposed to be the more mature one…” Kyungsoo whispered.

“You are…you bought condoms.”

They both laughed, looking at one another until Baekhyun kissed him on the lips. Quickly.

“I shouldn’t have let you get into my life…” Kyungsoo said, touching his left cheek with the tips of his fingers.

“Why?”

“You make it too complicated…and I hate complicated things.”

“Then just don’t think about anything and just…I’m here and you are here and we don’t have to think about what might happen.” Baekhyun said, kissing him again.

“You’re…” Kyungsoo shook his head.

“All that you want.”

He laughed, cupping his face and bringing him down for another, longer kiss. “Maybe…”

“I…” Baekhyun whispered. “I’ve changed my mind.”

“About what?”

“I can’t just…have sex with you and then forget about your existence.”

“Okay…”

“Good…I thought I could just do it, but I can’t. I mean, I’ve never even had sex with someone and just doing it with a dude I’ll never see ever again in my life seems like the shittiest decision I could make right now. And you don’t even want it that much, so I’ll have the whole thing on my already loaded conscience and I don’t want that.” Baekhyun said.

He closed his eyes and sat next to him, shoulder to shoulder, trying to shake all the slimy feelings in his chest.

“When are you leaving?”

“Haven’t decided yet.”

“Well, then it’s useless to talk anymore longer. Korea is 30 thousand kilometers away from here. So just…” he said and stood up from the bed. “Just…whatever. Doesn’t matter.”

“Baek…don’t be like this.”

“It’s stupid, you know?

“It might be…” Kyungsoo said, pulling Baekhyun back on the bed.

“You have a guitar.” he pointed towards the top of the brown closet.

“I never use it.”

“Then I will.” Baekhyun said, walking towards the closet; he raised himself on his tip toes and took it down, in his arms. “It’s nice.”

“Play something.”

“Beatles?”

“So you like Beatles, huh?” Kyungsoo asked, as Baekhyun was touching the chords, randomly at first before the beginning of a song seemed to take form. “All my loving?”

“How do you know it?”

“I like them too.” he laughed.

“Then we have something in common after all.” Baekhyun said, glancing back at him.

Kyungsoo shifted on the bed, closer and placed a kiss on his neck that made his whole body tense for a couple of seconds, and then relax as he kept playing the song.

“I could teach you to play the guitar. Or at least some basic things on it.”

“You can’t teach an old horse.” he laughed and Baekhyun looked at him once again.

“Is 28 that old for you?”

“I’m a dentist, not a singer, Baek.”

“Well, you do own a guitar and will a hobby do you bad?” he asked.

“Maybe not…if you teach me.” Kyungsoo smiled.

“I don’t have that much time…to teach you.”

“Whatever’s left?” he asked, smoothing over a wrinkle in his shirt.

“Okay…” Baekhyun whispered, placing the guitar on the bed. “Can I sleep over?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Then I’ll call my mother. She’ll get worried otherwise.”

Baekhyun wished, until the lights were switched off, that they would be sleeping in the same bed. Instead, he was lying in Kyungsoo’s, while the other was alone on the couch. He threw a leg over the sheets, balancing it in the air. The room was too warm. He turned around, sighing.

Baekhyun stood up from the bed and cracked the door open.

“Psst.”

Something fell on the floor, a couple of centimeters away from him, and in the poor light coming from the open window, it seemed to be a pillow.

 “Go back to sleep.”

“I’ve told you that I can’t sleep. And don’t forget we were practically just about to have sex today.”

“No, we weren’t.”

“You bought freaking condoms!” Baekhyun whisper shouted.

He ran towards him and jumped exactly on top of his body.

“You broke something.”

“Your heart.” Baekhyun grinned. “Now kiss and cuddle me.”

“Sleep in your own bed.” Kyungsoo said, but didn’t move further away when Baekhyun crawled right next to him, placing the head on his chest.

“I thought a little more about it…” Baekhyun whispered, looking at the side of his face. “There’s FaceTime and Instagram and plane tickets. And I might just learn Korean and-“

“Baek…go to sleep.”

“Have you listened to anything that I was saying?”

“Yes. But sleep. I’m tired. Tomorrow I have work.”

“Just tell me what you think about that?” Baekhyun asked.

“I haven’t left yet.” Kyungsoo said. “So just sleep…”

Baekhyun closed his eyes and sighed. He looked again at the other, feeling the soft raise and fall of his chest. Was Kyungsoo not liking him, after all?

If there were a prize to win for the best answer avoider, he would win it.

When he woke up, there was noise coming from the kitchen. A muffled curse, some pots clinking, the sound of water running, a chair being dragged across the floor. It smelled like coffee and eggs. Baekhyun hated eggs.

“What time is it?” he shouted.

“6:30.”

“When did you wake up?”

“6.”

“Damn, you sure are an early riser.” Baekhyun said and stood up, dragging after himself the pale blue sheets.

He covered himself with them, up from his head down to the soles of his feet.

“There’s still some coffee and milk in the fridge if you want.” Kyungsoo said, taking a bite from the slice of bread.

“Thanks. Uhm…so-“he yawned, stopping in front of the counter that was twice the size of his hand. “Mugs?”

“Top drawer.”

“Cool mugs.” Baekhyun said. “Loki mug, Captain America mug, Thor mug. I’m taking the Loki mug. You know,” he continued, pouring coffee into it, “Loki is my favorite Marvel character, really. If you look at it, he’s more humane than Thor, I mean, I can at least empathize with what Loki feels.”

“Are you an adopted ice giant baby?” Kyungsoo laughed, looking at him.

“Shut up. So…who’s your favorite?” he asked, leaning on the counter.

“Cap.”

“Oh, of course. You do resemble him.”

“I’m just as handsome, right?”

“Chris Evans pales in comparison to you.” Baekhyun laughed, taking a sip from the coffee. “It’s good…the coffee, I mean.”

His fingers tightened around the mug, turning it on each side.

“No, but really, Cap is cool. He’s brave and smart and pretty awesome if you ask me. He has honor and he has good beliefs.” Kyungsoo said.

“Well, Loki is smart too and has his own beliefs. He’s not that brave sometimes, but he’s not Mr. Perfect Cap. Loki has flaws.”

“Well, Loki and Cap would never get along.” Kyungsoo said.

“Are you saying we don’t get along?” Baekhyun asked, looking at him.

“I just said the characters wouldn’t. I think we get along just fine.”

“Right.” Baekhyun whispered, staring into the coffee.

“I like my superheroes and you like your instruments.”

“They are not…your superheroes.” Baekhyun smiled, stepping away from the counter to sit down at the table.

He placed his chin over the back of his hands, watching Kyungsoo eat.

“You know it’s creepy, right?”

“Why, Cap?”

Kyungsoo laughed.

“Because you are staring at me with those eyes of yours.”

“That pierce through your soul like two sharp blades.” Baekhyun said, bursting into laughter. “This should go into a novel or something.”

“You should have eaten something.” Kyungsoo said.

“I don’t eat in the morning and I never wake up at 6:30.”

“Really? Now you did.”

“Funny. It won’t happen again.”

“Right.”

“You need to get your ass to work and I need to get mine those 20km back home.” Baekhyun said.

“I would have driven you but you chose the worst day of the week to surprise me.”

“Was it a bad surprise?”

“Considering that I thought we would never speak ever again after your-“

“You could have called, if you cared. But you don’t.” Baekhyun said, and stood up.

“Seriously? Do you just really like throwing tantrums whenever you like?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Yes! Just to piss you off.”

“Good job. You’ve just managed to piss me off.”

“Fantastic!!”

“And that’s why I’ve told you that you are way too young.”

“Honestly?” Baekhyun asked. “Because you don’t want to call me after we fight? I should always be the one to beg your forgiveness right at your perfect feet or what?!”

“I’ve never said I wouldn’t.”

“When? In the plane back to Korea, forever?”

“Don’t be absurd.”

“So I am absurd too?”

“Baekhyun, really? We were doing just fine. We were having a decent conversation about some stuff we both seemed to enjoy when you just got angry about the same damn reasons you always do.” Kyungsoo said.

“Okay…so what am I supposed to say?”

“Think about others for a change? I understood you when you said you hate your major. I do. I get it. Why can’t you get that I hate working in this town? There’s nothing for me here…”

“I get that.” Baekhyun whispered. “And I get why you want to move back to Korea but…I’m here. Korea is there.” he pointed towards an imaginary spot.

“I know.” Kyungsoo sighed. “But you need to get over it. We…you are not in love with me. Maybe you have a crush and I shouldn’t have let it grow bigger. That’s my fault.”

“How could you know how I feel?”

“I’ve been 21 too. When you think it’s really love but it’s just a mere infatuation.”

“Right. Glad we didn’t fuck last night. Oh, I forgot, you’re so old, you’re not even getting hard.” Baekhyun said.

“You know what? Go home. Now. I’m tired and angry and I have work in less than an hour. So for both of our sake’s, just go home.”

“Fine.”

Baekhyun couldn’t remember the way back home, until he opened the entrance door and stepped into the apartment.

“The prodigy son is back.” he heard his mother say from the kitchen.

“I was just at a friend’s.”

“I know. It was a joke.” the woman said. “What friend?”

“A friend. You don’t know him.” Baekhyun said, grabbing a banana from a bowl.

“So he’s a new one?” she asked, looking at him.

“Something like that.”

“Is the friend…a girl?”

Baekhyun sighed, putting the banana on the table. He glanced at his fingers and then at his mother who was still looking at him.

“I don’t like girls. Happy?”

“What…?”

“I don’t fancy girls. Not in that way. Or whatever you might think.” he said, peeling the fruit.

“Oh…so is that friend…?”

“Just a friend. FRIEND. Just a stupid friend. Now can we end this subject?” Baekhyun asked and left the room.

He had been tempted to call Kyungsoo a couple of times, but instead, he picked his old guitar from the floor and played all the Beatles songs he could think of, while trying not to think about Kyungsoo. But every so often, he was right there, at the back of his mind, praying on the best moment to jump out of the hiding spot and never leave.

From time to time, much too often, he was checking his phone; but no messages, at least not from him.

And Baekhyun would have liked to admit that after 5 days of not doing anything other than checking his phone and playing sad songs at his guitar or piano, he didn’t message him. But he did, feeling the most shame he had felt in the longest while.

**__ **

**__ **

He was almost certain that Kyungsoo wouldn’t text him back. Until, later on, when it was already dark outside, he received a message from him.

Baekhyun ran down the stairs, panting, sliding between the entrance doors. Kyungsoo was there, again right in front of his car, looking at him.

“You know…I kept telling myself that I shouldn’t give in and feel terrible about what I needed to do. But then you messaged me and I’ve imagined you sitting all alone in your room and I…” he rubbed the back of his neck, glancing down, “I must admit, I hate seeing you upset because of me.”

“I was upset.” Baekhyun whispered.

“I know…”

“Can we go for a walk?”

“Sure…yeah, why not?”

Baekhyun could come up with too many reasons why a simple walk was the worst of ideas. And the best among all of them.

“Loki doesn’t have many friends, you know.” Baekhyun said.

“Does he have any?”

“I think sometimes he has Cap…but Loki isn’t sure most of the time…”

“Cap isn’t sure either…what to feel and think about Loki. They are such different people. One is immortal, the other is practically a grandpa in the body of a 20 year old.” Kyungsoo said, laughing.

“Loki is sorry.”

“Cap is sorry too.” he said and looked at him.

Afterwards, they walked in silence, Baekhyun looking from time to time at the other’s hand, fingers, almost touching them with his own, but stopping in the last moment.

“Were you serious…when you said you found me a possible girlfriend?”

“Yeah…I guess, I’m not sure. Now it’s pointless, I suppose.”

“Because I like guys or because…”

“Both?”

“How was your ex?” Baekhyun asked, glancing at him.

“My ex? That’s a question…” Kyungsoo said.

He shook his head.

“Great, actually. I met Jongin at uni. He helped me do a lot of growing up.”

“And what made you two break up?”

Kyungsoo shrugged.

“We…grew apart? I was usually angry or frustrated and at some point he became fed up so…”

“You broke up. Seems quite anticlimactic.” Baekhyun said.

“It was. There was no big fight or anything. Just…we stopped seeing each other, talking…then I received a text from him.”

“Sorry, but that’s the shittiest thing.”

“It was.” Kyungsoo laughed. “I wish I had been the one to send the text, not him.”

“Well, you can dump our friendship by text.” Baekhyun said.

“Baek…”

“It was a joke. I’m fine.”

“That fine was less than fine.” Kyungsoo said, looking at him. “Look…it would have been simpler to just spend the night together and then forget about it. But I don’t function like that.”

“You’re just like Cap.”

“Baek…there’s someone for you out there that isn’t leaving for Korea in the near future. Trust me.”

Baekhyun sighed, stopping from his walk.

“If you hadn’t broken up with him…would you still be leaving?”

“Not sure…maybe the break up made me want to just go back home. I miss it.” Kyungsoo said.

Baekhyun started making a couple of small steps, glancing behind at the other.

“I suppose you’ll be much happier back home.”

“I hope too.”

“You’re right…I’m selfish.” Baekhyun said.

“Hey…”

“No, really. I am. Very selfish. If going back home makes you happy, I should feel happy for you.”

“But you…”

“Don’t.”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to be if you don’t feel it.”

“I just need to get over it, you, whatever and I’ll be fine.” Baekhyun said.

“This is also selfish…but I don’t want you to get over me so fast…’

“Asshole.” he smiled.

“I’m the asshole? Still?”

“You are…so you want me to keep hurting for you to feel some sense of pride that a kid has fallen for you?” Baekhyun asked.

“It sounds terrible.” Kyungsoo said, sliding his fingers between Baekhyun’s. “But I wouldn’t feel proud.”

“Just accept that you would.”

“I wouldn’t, because then it would mean that I am heartless and I’m not that way. Or at least, I don’t believe to be…” he said, squeezing his hand.

“Then why are you…you shouldn’t be…” Baekhyun whispered.

“I’m sorry.” Kyungsoo said and removed his hand.

“It’s alright…”

“Now what’s going on with Loki? Isn’t he supposed to say something sarcastic about how he doesn’t care for such affections?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Well, since you are a mortal, you could never understand how it is for a true God to-“but Baekhyun burst into laughter. “I don’t even know what I was trying to say.”

“That gods are stupid.” Kyungsoo whispered. “Admit it. Cap is smarter than Loki.”

“Cap is just a good looking piece of meat without brains.”

“Hello.”

“Was that sarcastic enough for you?” Baekhyun asked.

“That was…your sarcasm? Lame.”

“Lame? Say something better if you can.”

“I don’t need to.” Kyungsoo shrugged.

“You don’t need to because you can’t. Honesty is better than deceit.”

“Are you back out of the sudden, because last time I checked, you were still locked somewhere on a sad little planet.”

“Ha.”

“Ha!”

Baekhyun yawned, looking back at the other’s hand.

“We should get back.” Kyungsoo said.

“Okay…”

“Have you thought about your summer job?”

“Not really…I thought about doing something else…finishing my major and just staring a different one.” Baekhyun said.

“That’s good.”

“I suppose…I hope it’s good.”

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

“I might choose something terrible this time also.” Baekhyun said.

“You like music, Baek.”

“That doesn’t make the idea of teaching it any better. I’m not good enough to play in an orchestra. I’m just…decent to mediocre.”

Kyungsoo sighed.

“Do you think I’m the best dentist out there?” Kyungsoo asked.

“I think you are pretty good.”

“Pretty good. Not the best or well known or anything. Just there, among thousands of better dentists.”

“Does it mean we are both shitty at our jobs then?”

“You don’t work yet.” Kyungsoo laughed. “Am I shitty?”

“I didn’t say you are shitty. You said you are just decent.”

“Let’s drop this subject.” he said.

“Because you don’t like it.”

“A little.”

“Well…there’s the car.” Baekhyun said.

“That was fast.”

“Yeah…”

“Baek…” Kyungsoo whispered.

“I don’t like your tone.”

“I don’t like the look in your eyes.” the other said.

“I should get inside.”

“Baek…”

“Good night.” he said and ran towards the building, only looking behind when he reached the entrance doors.

Kyungsoo was standing in front of the car, still. He waved and opened the doors.

Against his better judgement, Baekhyun messaged the last person he wanted to see that night or any day. Not because he felt the need to talk to that respective one, but because, part of him really wanted to get over Kyungsoo.

Jongdae had always been the type of friend with whom he could talk hours without end through text, but whenever they would meet, nothing would come out of their mouths. Baekhyun only called it the disease of starting a friendship through online messaging. And he was certain that the next day would be no different, considering they hadn’t spoken in 2 years.

Baekhyun hadn’t liked Jongdae, but Jongdae had liked him in a weird, twisted way that ended up in mutual indifference. He hadn’t hurt from the coldness, but at time, he had missed talking to someone whenever he needed to.

That was Jongdae for him. Different from Kyungsoo, at least in the aspect that the thought of kissing him wasn’t unappealing. In fact, Jongdae wasn’t bad looking, but Baekhyun had always remained cold towards anything more than friendship between them.

So, in the end, he didn’t know what made him text and ask the other to meet.

Jongdae looked like Jongdae, not much changed, only the haircut, much shorter than before. Blonde and quiet, with tan skin and too many piercing holes in his ears.

“Long time no see.” Jongdae said.

“True…” Baekhyun said, sitting down.

If he thought about it, they had never gone out together. Maybe once or twice, but never alone.

“Uhm…so, how’s your life?”

“Decent.” Jongdae said, playing with his phone. “Yours?”

“The same.”

“Well…” he said, looking around. “Should we order something?”

“Yeah, sure…are you hungry?” Baekhyun asked, going through the menu.

“Thirsty.”

“Me too. I’ll get a strawberry milkshake.”

Jongdae laughed, glancing at him. “And for me, it’s a beer.” he said.

Out of the blue, Baekhyun thought about Kyungsoo; about how easy it had always felt to talk to him about whatever it was on his mind. Being with him had always been the easiest and most complicated thing at the same time.

“How’s computer science?” Baekhyun asked.

“Fine. Manchester is…bleah.” Jongdae said.

“So you don’t like it?”

“It’s alright. It’s school, you know?”

“Yeah, I suppose.”

“Last year I think I drank more than 300 energy drinks.” Jongdae said, still looking though the menu.

“What? How?”

“Exam session are…shitty. I would drink one at 5 and then another at 7 and until 3-4 in the morning I’d go through 2 books.” he said.

“That’s nuts.”

Jongdae shrugged. “Got used to it. Now I can’t wake up earlier than 12.”

“Wow…” Baekhyun whispered.

Considering how much they had used to talk, Baekhyun knew close to nothing about him or his life.

“Yup…”

“Uhm…so…what movies have you been watching?” he asked.

“None…” Jongdae shrugged again. “Been busy with school.”

“And energy drinks.” Baekhyun laughed but Jongdae kept silent until he felt the need to smash his head on the table and never raise it to see the blank expression on his face.

“You?”

“A couple…superhero ones, you know?”

“Oh…fun.” Jongdae said, picking his phone.

He started typing something, while not looking at Baekhyun.

“So…when are you going back to Manchester?” he asked.

“In a month.”

“Cool.”

“So…have you asked me out because you still like me?” Jongdae asked and Baekhyun dropped his phone on the floor.

“What?”

“You still like me, right?”

Baekhyun laughed, looking around.

“Are you serious?”

“You’ve always liked me. I know that.” Jongdae said, staring at him as he kept trying to reach the phone underneath the table.

“Geez. I was trying to be nice. I don’t freaking like nor have I ever ever EVER liked you.” Baekhyun said, standing up. “Geez.”

“But that time on the couch when I almost-“

“I flinched and looked another way.” Baekhyun said. “Plus, you had a freaking boyfriend, remember?”

“But…we held hands.”

“Again, on a freaking couch. Your fingers were sweaty and gross, by the way. Now, I’m leaving. And no, I don’t like you. Perhaps you like me.” Baekhyun said.

“I…”

“Deny it as much as you want. But you wanted to kiss me. Not me.” he continued and left, without giving him a second glance.

Baekhyun burst into laughter outside; he wasn’t sure whether or not he was amused or ashamed; or even both. But he didn’t think about it.

It wasn’t even 6’o’clock; but he knew what he wanted to do. At 6 sharp he was in the bus, with his head leaning on the cold glass thinking about how stupid he had been feeling for a while.

When he walked inside the clinic, Kyungsoo was standing behind the white desk, writing something on the computer.

“What are you doing here?” he asked. “I’m off only at 8.”

“It’s fine. I can wait.” Baekhyun said.

“Sit down. “

“It’s empty…”

“The patient is running late.” Kyungsoo said, looking at the clock on the wall.

“Can I sleep over at your place?”

“Huh?”

“You heard me.”

“Not sure that’s a good idea.” he said.

“Don’t you trust me or what?”

“Is not that…”

But the door suddenly opened and Baekhyun flinched. The patient.

“Hello. Sorry for being late but somehow the traffic is terrible today.”

Baekhyun closed his eyes and breathed out. It seemed pointless to keep waiting but at the same he kept hoping that Kyungsoo would change his mind. After all, he hadn’t given him a clear answer. He could say yes in the end.

2 more people came in during that time, no one paying attention to him sitting on the blue chair. Not even Kyungsoo, talking away with them and then disappearing through the door on the opposite wall.

A strong shake woke him up.

“You’ve fallen asleep.” Kyungsoo said, smiling.

“Are you still busy?”

“It’s 8:30…sorry…and I think your phone is ringing.”

“Damn it.” Baekhyun whispered, answering the call from his mother.

“Everything alright?” Kyungsoo asked after a while.

“Yeah…should have called her earlier. Anyways. Can I sleep over or should I take the bus back home?” he asked.

Kyungsoo pressed his fingers above his right eyebrow, rubbing the spot for a while until a deep sigh left his mouth.

“Okay…”

“You don’t seem that sure.” Baekhyun said.

He sat up, grabbing the black backpack from the other seat.

“I’m not.”

“Then I should just take the bus.”

“Baek…”

“No, you are right. I am breaking again some boundaries that you want to keep between us. Fair and square. I’ll just go home and sleep in my own bed.”

“You do know how to manipulate me, don’t you?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Why so?”

“Because…” he breathed out, “you know quite well why.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Baek…”

“I’m taking the bus.” he said and made a step but in that instant, Kyungsoo grabbed his wrist and pulled him back.

“No, don’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments are well loved:_


	3. to lovers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you'll enjoy:)

Baekhyun sat down on the couch next to Kyungsoo; his chest was buzzing, maybe it was only his heart, beating faster, but he could feel every movement, every touch on his skin.

The night was drifting away lazily, the clouds floating over the buildings with water-filled bellies. But inside, the August warmth was lingering, not broken yet by the wind coming through the open window. It started raining.

“Maybe I should close that.” Kyungsoo said and stood up.

The TV was on, but Baekhyun was looking at the other’s back, at the way the baggy t-shirt was falling on his body, reaching his mid thighs.

“What are you staring at?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Nothing…”

“Your eyes…” he smiled, sitting down next to him.

“They are really pretty, aren’t they?”

Kyungsoo laughed, taking the remote to turn the TV off. “You said you’d teach me how to play the guitar.” he said.

“I thought you were joking.”

“Well, …it could be fun.”

“Then I’ll bring it.” Baekhyun said.

He ran towards the bedroom, grabbed the guitar and then looked around at the dimly lighted room; the bed was made, no scattered objects anywhere on the floor or furniture. It all was in the best order possible.

“Are you dead in there?” Kyungsoo shouted.

“Coming.” he said and stepped outside.

“What took you so long?”

“Got lost.”

“Sure. Were you sneaking around?” Kyungsoo asked, laughing. “Sit.”

He patted the spot next to him and Baekhyun sat much closer to the other than he would have liked. His body was warm, too warm even, and whenever a brush of cold air would touch his skin, all the small hairs on his arms would raise up.

“So, Mr. Professor.”

“Don’t say that. I’m not even sure where to start.”

“Where, you could start by teaching me how to hold it.” Kyungsoo said.

“Oh…yeah, of course. So you just…you place it on your right leg-just like that, don’t slouch it, keep it straight and-” he said, his fingers hovering over Kyungsoo’s arm for a couple of seconds, ”just place your arm over there. And that’s that.” he whispered.

“I already know what I’m doing.” Kyungsoo laughed, looking at him from beneath his eyelashes.

But Baekhyun glanced outside the window, at the tree branches scratching the glass, as the wind kept swirling them in larger and smaller circles. The room was once again too warm; sweat was slowly trickling down from his forehead, down to the bridge of his nose as one drop fell on his bottom lip. He brushed it away with his thumb.

Kyungsoo coughed.

“What’s next, teach?”

“Uhm…some basic shapes you should know how to do…let’s see…” he whispered. “So…your pointer finger goes to the 2nd fret and-“

“What’s a fret?”

“Uhm…it is one semitone. An octave is divided into 12 semitones and these frets just go along the entire neck of the guitar. “Baekhyun said, looking from the window back to his hand on his lap.

“Okay….so, pointer 2nd fret…”

“Middle finger, 3rd fret, and 6th string…just like that.” Baekhyun said, barely touching Kyungsoo’s fingers to place them on the right chords-”and ring finger 3rd fret and 1st string. That’s the first basic position.”

“Okay…not too hard, but I don’t I’ll remember it tomorrow.” Kyungsoo laughed.

Baekhyun laughed too, tapping his fingers on his leg. “Do you want to continue?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Okay, so the second one…” he said, looking down at the neck of the guitar when a hand fell right above his fingers, gently squeezing them.

“Do I make you uncomfortable? You used to be calm around me. What happened?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Nothing. I just don’t feel good enough to teach someone anything.” Baekhyun said, trying to smile.

“That’s not right. You are a good teacher.” he said, not removing his hand.

“We should continue if you want to learn something tonight.”

“Baek…”

“What?!” he said in a too thin voice that reverberated throughout the room.

A tree branch hit the window, harder than before, and Baekhyun flinched.

“We can leave this for another time.” Kyungsoo said.

“No…I want to teach you and you can’t just leave the lesson like this…in the air.”

“But you are uncomfortable.”

“I’ve told you. It’s not because of you but because of me being unable to teach you well.” he whispered the last words.

“So…what’s the second position?” Kyungsoo asked.

“You place your ring finger on the 3rd fret and 2nd string-just like that-and the middle one on 2nd fret and 4th string and the pointer on the 1st fret and 2nd string. That’s perfect. See, you are a fast learner. That’s 2 out of five.” Baekhyun smiled, looking up at him.

Kyungsoo smiled too and then coughed, glancing back at the guitar.

“I think I don’t place my fingers that well on the chords.” Kyungsoo said. “Can you fix that for me?”

“I think they are okay.” Baekhyun said. “No need for fixing.”

“Baek…”

“I said it’s good, why…?”

“You’re scared of touching me.” Kyungsoo said. “Why?”

“Because it’s clear that I shouldn’t hope for more when you don’t want that and if I touch you I feel…don’t make fun of my feelings. I’m trying to get rid of them, why can’t you see? I tried going out with a guy that used to like me but that turned out so badly…”

“So you are denying yourself any sort of contact with me even though it’s horrible for both of us?”

“Why is it for you?”

“Doesn’t matter.” Kyungsoo said, chewing the inside of his cheek.

“Your fingers are just fine on the chords.” Baekhyun whispered.

“Okay, …what’s the third one?”

“E minor. Ring finger on the 2nd fret and 4th string, the middle one on the 2nd fret and 5th string. Like that.”

“Okay, this is decent. I should write this stuff somewhere.” Kyungsoo said. “To do it on my own. Can you write it? I think I’ve already forgotten the first two ones.” he laughed.

“Alright…”

“Baek…” he whispered.

“Where can I find some paper?”

“I have a notebook in my nightstand.” Kyungsoo said.

“Okay.”

“Baek…”

“You know, if you try to repeat them almost every day, then we can move to more advanced matters and maybe even teaching you a short song or two.” Baekhyun said, retrieving the notebook. “And pen…” he whispered, searching through his backpack.

“I think you’d make for a good teacher.” Kyungsoo said.

“Really?”

“Well, you didn’t get angry at me or rush anything. You were calm and explained things well.”

Baekhyun smiled. He ripped a page out of the notebook and started writing.

“You’re not a bad student yourself.”

“Of course I’m not.” Kyungsoo laughed.

“And very modest as well.”

“Shut up.”

Kyungsoo looked at him and Baekhyun couldn’t recognize the expression on his face; it held something from his past ones, but one variable had changed and he didn’t know which one that was. As he was leaning towards him, the guitar was pressing right into his hip bone, a pang of pain pulsing right in that spot; but Baekhyun closed his eyes. He couldn’t breathe. His body was in waiting, as every hair raised from the planes of the skin. Everything was in a constant wait inside and outside of him.

But nothing happened.

“I think we should go to sleep.” Kyungsoo said, looking outside the window at the pale shape of the moon staring at them.

Everything sunk in Baekhyun’s body. His heart was lazily beating once more, his hands were cold, clammy.

“I should take the couch.”

“No. You are the guest.” Kyungsoo said; his mouth didn’t close, still ajar with his bottom lip glistening in the light. “I’m leaving in 2 weeks for Korea.”

“So soon.” Baekhyun whispered.

“My parents fixed the loan and now they need me to choose a space to turn it into a clinic.”

“I see…then it’s all good. You’re finally going to be the boss.” Baekhyun laughed.

“Yeah…I’m scared.” he whispered.

“Don’t. You’ll be great.”

“If the clinic doesn’t work…I don’t know how we’ll be able to pay the debt.”

“But the clinic will work.” Baekhyun said. “You’re a great doctor, you just need to believe that too.”

Kyungsoo smiled, looking down. “You’re cheesy.”

“Never said I wasn’t.”

“Are you mad at me…?”

“No. We should sleep.” he said, yawning. “It’s late and tomorrow you have work. I also think I might as well just be a teacher.”

Baekhyun didn’t wait for Kyungsoo to wake up in the morning; he left without a single word, looking at him still sleeping on the couch, with one leg over the sheets.

The light was grey and heavy outside, the clouds falling over his shoulders as small drops were trickling down from his hair all over his face and clothes. When he stepped inside the bus, it was fully raining, hitting the glass with force and low, sharp thuds for each drip.

He watched the concrete contours of the town disappear behind the road on top of the dam; it was winding at the edge of the thick line of trees separating the river banks from the fields covered by sunflower.

Kyungsoo messaged him at 8, but Baekhyun ignored it. He sighed, getting out of the bus. Somehow, not even 20km away, it wasn’t raining. The sun was bright on the sky; even the heat was insufferable, sticky and soon enough, he was sweating.

His phone buzzed, again and again, that day, as well as for a couple of days after, until it eventually stopped. Baekhyun hadn’t read any of the messages but he didn’t delete them either. He kept them there, for a later time.

After 4 more weeks, he was eventually back at school.

That day was rainy and the hallways dark and empty. He sat down at a table in the library, opening his laptop. Baekhyun sighed, tapping the wood with his nails while his chin was resting on his right hand.

“Can I sit down?”

“Uhm…?”

“I saw you in class playing the piano. It was really nice.”

Baekhyun smiled, shaking his head. “It wasn’t that great.”

“Better than anyone else who sang Strauss, trust me.”

“Thanks…”

“I’m Chanyeol. And you must be Baekhyun.”

“That’s right.” he laughed.

“Working for the bachelor thesis?”

“Yup…or trying to. I have no idea what to do.” Baekhyun said.

“Me neither. We could do them together.”

“Is that even allowed?”

“Who says it isn’t?” Chanyeol said, bursting into a laughter that reminded him of a hyena.

Baekhyun didn’t like Chanyeol instantly, not even after a couple of days of spending their free time mostly together; he had some sort of talent of finding him wherever he was, cracking a joke that would make them both laugh for minutes until his cheeks would hurt so badly.

He enjoyed that change in his life. Chanyeol was one of the few people he had known who weren’t sad or gloomy; made out of sparks and joy, he’d never seemed upset about much in his life, not even terrible grades or not finished the thesis.

“You know…you are very serious most of the time.” Chanyeol said as they were sitting at a table in a small café in the city center.

“Am I?”

“Yeah…you don’t smile that often.” he said. “You should. Your smile is beautiful.”

Baekhyun looked down, feeling the warmth travel up to his cheeks.

“Don’t blush. I didn’t say it to make you feel embarrassed.” Chanyeol said, covering Baekhyun’s hand with his own.

“I’m not…blushing.”

“Yes, you are. Anyways…” Chanyeol cleared his throat. “This is kind of out of the blue, but I’m not the type of person to keep waiting. I like you. And I want to be your boyfriend.”

“Oh…” Baekhyun whispered.

“I know we’ve known each other for a week and that it’s not enough time to know a person and all of that, but I really like you and I just can’t really act like I only want to be friends with you, because I don’t. So…if you say no, it’s okay. I can try to just be friends with you, but honestly, I’m a great catch. The best out there, trust me.” Chanyeol said. “I make killer jokes.”

“You’re…extremely upfront.” he said after a while.

“Is that…a no?”

“I…no. I mean, yes. No. I mean, I want to be with you.” Baekhyun said.

“You gave me a heart attack for a second there.” Chanyeol said.

“I’m sorry.”

“You should be. It’s not right playing with people’s feelings like that.”

“I…”

“I was just kidding.” he grinned. “You are cute when you get so worried.”

Baekhyun smiled, feeling his chest sink a little under the weight of the words he had just said. But it was no use thinking about it when Kyungsoo was long gone. He had yet to open and read those messages, and as time kept passing, he was even more unable to do so.

At times he had even thought about deleting them.

Chanyeol was there, centimeters away from him, willing to love him without many ifs, buts, and conditions that he couldn’t fulfill. But why wasn’t he pleased by the idea?

“You are thinking…and I can’t read thoughts.” Chanyeol said, nudging him on the knee where the guitar was resting.

It was Monday and his bachelor thesis was going nowhere, not even to his teacher’s office for a part of it to be read.

“Just stuff…the thesis, my teaching career…the fact that I have some open classes…” Baekhyun said, placing the guitar down. “What if I’ll make a fool out of myself?”

“You won’t. You’ve learned that lesson plan by heart. And it’s great. My sister loved it.” Chanyeol grinned.

“Your sister is 5. Why are you so positive?” he whispered, picking the guitar up again.

Without realizing at first, he started playing a song.

“What’s that?”

“Patti Smith…Because the night…’” he said, stopping for a couple of seconds.

“It’s nice…you know the lyrics too?”

“A little, but my voice is not that great.” Baekhyun said.

“Give it a try. I bet you are amazing at that too.”

He smiled, clearing his throat. The guitar suddenly felt heavier in his arms when he picked the song from the beginning; he began singing the first verse. Chanyeol was staring at him, his smile growing bigger and bigger, turning into a grin when eventually Baekhyun stopped and took a long breathe in.

“What? Was it that bad?”

“It was freaking great. Fabulous. Your voice is…your tone and-and-omg, you are so talented.” Chanyeol said.

He wrapped both arms around his neck, squeezing him tight, with the guitar in between their bodies. Chanyeol looked at him and then kissed him, slowly, as with one hand he cupped his face. Baekhyun sighed into it, squeezing the neck of the guitar tighter with his fingers.

“You are so amazing.” Chanyeol whispered.

“I am not.”

“Stop looking down on yourself. Let others do it, not you.”

“Yes, Mr. Cheesy quotes. Understood.” he laughed.

“I’m serious.”

“And I was serious too.”

“Then you shouldn’t be. Not that good for your health.”

The days before the open lesson were passing faster than before, but, immediately afterward that, time fell down into its old routine. Nothing was too fast or too slow, but enough for the Christmas break to come; the sound of wheels on the asphalt running after the bus, his footsteps on the platform as the train was growing bigger and bigger in the distance.

Those 10 hours spent in a compartment with 3 more people.

Chanyeol was living closer to university, so for him, the journey was only made out of 2 hours, in his own car. He had waited with him for the train, holding his hand, squeezing it from time to time while saying a joke or another thing that would make Baekhyun burst into laughter.

But he didn’t feel glad about coming back home after almost 4 months of being away. The apartment smelled and looked the same as if no time had passed in between and he simply took back from where he had left.

He sat on the bed and stared at the shelves covered in books in front of him. It was dark outside and the weather was no longer warm. That seemed to be the only thing that had changed.

A thud. Another sharp noise coming from his window. He looked towards it, but he could only see the night sky. One other. Louder than the ones before.

Baekhyun stood up and walked towards it. In front of the apartment complex, there was a car, with its headlights on and a man sitting in front of it, holding a guitar. He opened the window.

“It’s me!!” the man shouted. “I’m going to serenade you!”

Baekhyun grinned, grabbing the window sill with his fingers.

“Close your eyes and I’ll kiss you/Tomorrow I’ll miss you/Remember I’ll always be true!” he yelled as he started playing the guitar.

“Wait!” Baekhyun shouted. “I’m coming down.”

He ran down the stairs as he tried to put on his winter coat at the same time. With both hands, he opened the doors and jumped the last of the stairs, two at a time, until he reached him.

“You…are here. And not in Korea. But here.” he whispered.

“Yeah…bone and flesh.” Kyungsoo smiled. “Holding a guitar and yelling a Beatles song at 10 pm in front of your window…because…”

“Because…”

“I’ve…gotten better at playing the guitar. And I…do you want me to keep playing…because all your neighbors are staring at us right now.” Kyungsoo said.

“No, it’s fine…it’s all fine.”

“Good. I…Korea didn’t really work out and now I have to pay a debt from my salary over here…I mean, the rest of it. I didn’t do it.”

“What…didn’t you do?”

“Start a clinic, be my own boss. Test the waters, taste failure.” Kyungsoo said. “All of that.”

“You’ve chickened out.” Baekhyun sighed.

“I found a job here in town.”

“Didn’t you say these places make you miserable?”

“Korea made me even more. I thought I would fit right in…but I didn’t. You don’t seem happy to see me.” Kyungsoo said.

“I…I am. It’s just…I was only getting used to the idea that I’d never see you again and now…you are here.” Baekhyun said, chewing his bottom lip.

“Yeah…” Kyungsoo whispered, opening the door of the car to place the guitar inside. “Uhm…I feel stupid. Really stupid.”

“Why? Because I’m not as pleased as you expected me to be?”

“Baek…”

“I have a boyfriend now…I’ve stopped chasing after you.”

“Oh…”

“It’s cold.” Baekhyun said.

“Yeah…it is.”

“I should go now. I’m tired.”

“Of course…sorry for…”

“It’s fine. Welcome back.” Baekhyun said and turned around.

He made a couple of steps until he stopped and looked back. Then, he ran back towards Kyungsoo, wrapping both arms around his neck. Their chests collided as the other’s back hit the car, but Baekhyun didn’t move.

“I missed you…” Kyungsoo whispered.

His hands fell down on his back as one big exhale brought warm breath all over his neck.

“Did you?” Baekhyun asked.

Kyungsoo laughed and Baekhyun took a step back to look at him; his hands didn’t leave his body, only the hold grew tighter.

“I came here to serenade you. Draw your conclusion. And I’ve learned that song…”

“So you’ve missed me so much that you’ve been only thinking about me the whole time.” Baekhyun laughed.

“Don’t exaggerate.”

“Then…?”

“You didn’t even read my messages.”

“Would that have helped me?” he asked.

“Read them now, out loud.” Kyungsoo sighed. “Just read them.”

“Alright, alright...Do Kyungsoo…Do Kyungsoo. Here they are. I’m embarrassed.”

“Don’t be. I wrote those, not you.”

“Fine. Have you arrived home? This is decent…”

Kyungsoo sighed. “Read them all…”

“Geez. Are you free tonight? I suppose you are once again mad at me, and I can’t really blame you. But can you please at least give me a seen so that I know you are not dead in a ditch somewhere? Alright…now I’m the petty one, craving attention from you. Funny how the wheel has turned. I guess I’ve truly angered you and I won’t hear anything from you as long as I exist. I just wanted to say that I’m not sure anymore about leaving for Korea and taking all that responsibility on my shoulders. Call me a coward, which I might as well be, but I’m scared shitless. I can’t sleep at night, eat and my stomach hurts like hell. It also doesn’t help thinking that you might be dead. Mostly, angry, I assume, and for eternity. If you ever decide to read this…I like you too.”

“Yeah…” Kyungsoo whispered.

“Did you even leave to Korea?” Baekhyun asked.

“No.” he shook his head.

“Are you nuts?! Your parents took a loan for you.”

“Which they mostly paid back, don’t worry. I just couldn’t. I was scared about everything and I just felt like shit for hurting you. I don’t show it, but I care about how you feel.”

“Sure, sure.” Baekhyun said.

“Don’t be like this.” Kyungsoo said, bringing him closer. “Now I’m too late, your love for me is gone and I have to bear the consequences of my actions.”

“I’m pretty sure you’re like that just because I stopped paying attention to you.”

“I…”

“I have a boyfriend now, one who is actually emotionally available and doesn’t have to move or not move thousands of miles away. “ Baekhyun said. “Why would I leave him for you?”

“You shouldn’t.” Kyungsoo said. “Sorry…I feel entitled for no reason.”

“Yes, you are. I like him, a lot.”

“I know.”

“Then…”

“You could go inside, you know?”

“I know…it is just nice seeing you want me for whatever weird reason you might have.” Baekhyun said.

“Asshole.”

“I didn’t say I’m that nice of a person.” he shrugged.

“You hugged me…”

“On impulse.”

“You ran all the way here to see me.” Kyungsoo said.

“Why do you keep trying to make me say that I still have feelings for you?”

“You’ve missed me.”

“Maybe…”

“No, not maybe.” he laughed.

“I was only infatuated with you. Now I’m not and I can see everything clearer.”

“Baek…”

“I should go inside.” Baekhyun said, stepping back.

“Don’t…let me kiss you once and then if you didn’t feel one thing, just leave.”

“I shouldn’t let you kiss me…”

“You want it…” Kyungsoo whispered, pulling him again closer to him. “Just once…”

“I don’t…”

“Once…then tell me you have no feelings for me at all.”

Kyungsoo closed the distance between their faces and kissed him. His fists tightened on his coat, as Baekhyun’s fingers laid over his chest.

“Nope. Nothing. Not even a spark.” Baekhyun said, pulling back.

“Okay. No sparks. Got it.”

“Okay.”

“Do you like him that much?”

“You know what?! I’m going home. I get it, now you regret me and see me in pastel pink, surrounded by sparkles and glimmering fairies with harps and shit. I don’t. You were supposed to be in freaking Korea now, not here, making me feel crappy all over again because out of the blue, you’ve changed your mind. It doesn’t work like that. I don’t work like that.” Baekhyun said.

“Okay.”

“Now that we are clear, I’m going home, you are going home and we won’t see each other ever again.”

Baekhyun ran back home, feeling his head compress underneath the thoughts that kept spinning through his mind. He looked out, through the window, at the car’s headlights disappearing behind a corner. That was when he sat down on the floor, still wearing his coat, with his back leaning on the radiator. He breathed out, kicking the floor with both fists.

The phone rang. Chanyeol.

After another breath, he answered: ”Yeah, I arrived home well. Of course, Yeol…I love you too.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> been feeling like utter crap lately; school has been stressing me out like crazy too and i sometimes have these moments when i truly feel so stupid. nevermind.  
> not sure whether or not i want to add a fourth chapter. i quite like this type of ending, where baekhyun is trying to forget his feelings for kyungsoo and attempt to construct a relationship with chanyeol, or at least lie to himself that he likes chanyeol better; he might, idk  
> for now i think i'll just leave it like this and then see...
> 
> comments are well loved:)

**Author's Note:**

> comments are well loved <3
> 
> next chapter might be angsty, idk yet


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